This mom found hope in Christ in the midst of her daughter’s eating disorder diagnosis

Beth knew her daughter Heather felt the pressure of appearances. “She always saw us as trying to portray the perfect family,” Beth explains, “but we were far from that.”

In their small, rural northern town, Beth didn’t have a lot of access to help, but she did have Focus on the Family Canada’s resources, which provided her family with support as they walked through her daughter’s eating disorder diagnosis.

“We have been receiving the [Focus on the Family] magazine for years and years,” she explains. “Quite a few years ago, I never forgot the article that was in it. It was a mother and her daughter, who had an eating disorder. I remember reading that – and that was before our daughter [Heather*] even walked that journey – so it never left my mind even throughout the whole time we were dealing with Heather’s eating disorder.”

Growing up, Heather was a happy-go-lucky girl but as she entered adolescence, things started to shift. Beth noticed an increase in depression and anxiety, lower self-esteem, a change in her shape, and behaviours like reading food labels.

“The eating disorder just gradually began to take over her entire life until she was about 90 pounds,” Beth recalls.

Beth knew where to look for support, and their town had access to a psychiatric case manager, but as it was such a small town, almost everybody knows everyone, which made it challenging to access care. “I struggled to get our daughter service because a lot of the health professionals minimized that it was normal teenage behaviour, but God intervened a number of times.”

After going to multiple doctors and specialists, someone finally took Beth’s concerns seriously and they told her to take Heather to the hospital immediately, before they were flown south to a major city to begin the long road of recovery. Beth knew she needed support, but it was hard to find resources for encouragement. “Living rural, you feel so alone as you don’t have access to library materials the same as other communities, and the Internet was just starting back then. And I couldn’t fight the battle [for] her.” But she knew where to turn during that time: Focus on the Family Canada.”

“I had written to Focus on the Family during that time, and they wrote back to me,” she recalls. “The letter was very supportive in telling me that I could contact them for additional one-to-one support. The book by Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Parent, was so valuable to me. I would often go to a park and spend hours going through that book. It was just incredible to help me release Heather back to the Lord. I wouldn’t consider myself a prayer warrior, I wish I could, but that was where I went because I could pray. I can’t say enough about prayer and how it changed the story.”

Being the parent of a child with an eating disorder can leave you feeling helpless, but by being pointed to the hope of Christ, Beth had a lifeline to hold onto, even in the darkest valleys of their journey. “I couldn’t fight the battle or change her. I remember talking to the doctor and I said, ‘How long do you think it’s going to take?’ and he said, ‘It could take years.’ I remember feeling that in the pit of my stomach. He said, ‘You can’t turn that switch on for her. She has to turn it on for herself.’ And at that moment I felt very defeated. I thought, how can I keep doing this? But God is faithful and I try to remember that.”

By God’s grace, Heather willingly entered a treatment program and got the help she needed. And today, years later, she’s following the Lord, is married and has four beautiful children. “When I look back on it,” Beth says, “I see God’s fingerprints all through our journey.”

Thanks to the support of our donors, families like Beth’s know they can call for help, support and prayer in times of crisis. “We have no idea the impact of our contribution or donation and what it means to someone going through a struggle - whether it’s parenting or marriage or whatever,” Beth says. “It is just incredible when you don’t have to think of what it’s going to cost to reach out, to know someone is praying for you, or to be able to speak to someone because of what people have donated.”

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If you or someone you know is walking through this journey with your child, Beth offers an additional word of encouragement:

“I have helped a couple people and I think you need to ask God, ‘Where are you in this? Because I can’t see you.’ Feeble as that might sound, God is there. I could never understand. I know we’re not supposed to say, ‘Why me?’ but it’s hard. When you’re in it, you’re helpless. It took me a while to figure out my role and accept what I couldn’t do and what I could do. God is there. We often just can’t understand why he would allow this to happen, but stuff happens. God doesn’t want it to happen, but he has the power to intervene. God’s power was certainly there, and prayer unleashes that. I have encouraged people, and while what helped me might not help someone else, I do know that eating disorders are so hard to deal with, and the resources Focus has are just so valuable.”

Our counselling team is also available for a free one-time phone consultation if you need to talk. Call 1.800.661.9800, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Pacific time. You can also call us for prayer support or resource recommendations.