What's going on inside your tween's mind

When children reach the tween years, adults sometimes expect their tweens’ thought processes to be suddenly mature. While tweens’ cognitive reasoning has increased, they still interpret things literally and therefore need more explanations.

"Between ages eight and 12, children begin to move from concrete thinking to more abstract thoughts. Their problem solving abilities and logical thinking skills reflect rapid development and spiralling complexity," says Kathryn McColskey, elementary education chairperson for North Greenville University. "Children’s sense of finality is fully developed – a sense of right and wrong and what is fair and unfair – although their sense of justice and punishment can still be unrealistically severe."

"[Tweens] are very aware of the emotions of others but are not always able to discern the true reasons for the feelings. They will accept blame for actions or feelings of significant adults in their life, while in reality they had no responsibility or ability to control these feelings or actions," McColskey says.

While tweens may be more in tune with those around them, they remain self-focused. To balance this, parents can gently and consistently remind their tweens to be aware of the needs of others.