What my daughter taught me about perseverance

"I’m too big for training wheels now!" my daughter Autumn announced on her fifth birthday. All summer she’d been using four wheels to tag behind her older siblings. Now she was ready to ride like the big kids.

She was so excited when I removed the training wheels. She was hoping we could take a family bike ride to the park that afternoon. But she soon realized that learning to ride on two wheels involved more than simply removing training wheels; she was going to have to work at it.

Day after day, Autumn called to me, "Mama, come watch me!" As I sat on the front porch step and saw her struggle, my five-year-old taught me three valuable lessons.

No more training wheels

Autumn was diligent. She practiced regularly. She didn’t give up after many attempts. She had a goal and was determined to reach it.

Many times in my life, I’ve wanted to give up. In the midst of my heartache and depression following my husband’s abandonment, I begged God to end my life. My future seemed dark, and I didn’t want to go through another day.

But God didn’t give me the option of quitting. I reluctantly faced each day and came to realize that my future was not hopeless – instead, it could be exciting! Now that I have a vision for my life, I am willing to be patient to reach my goals, and I trust that God’s plan for me is always good.

Hang on tight

I could have made Autumn’s learning easier by running alongside her bike and holding it up. But I knew that Autumn could learn to ride only by doing the work herself.

How often I have wanted someone to hold me up, to make my learning easier. I wanted to be rescued from the losses associated with my divorce. Watching Autumn, I realized that God knows how I learn best – by doing the work myself. I don’t need someone to remove my challenges, but I do need someone to be there for me while I struggle through the steps.

God values our perseverance. "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:4). Spiritual maturity is ultimately what I want, and if I want it badly enough, as Autumn wanted to ride on two wheels, then I need to persevere.

Whee! No hands!

Every time Autumn saw improvement, whether getting her second foot on the pedal or moving forward a little farther than her last attempt, she celebrated. She would stop, throw her hands in the air and cheer for herself.

I need to celebrate the small victories in my life, too, like going a whole morning without recalling my husband’s betrayal, feeling less upset when the kids spend a week with their father and actually enjoying an activity without resenting my single-parent status. My heart is healing, and it’s worth cheering about. I am not where I want to be, but I can celebrate the progress steps in my journey.

Soon, Autumn was riding her bike with her older siblings – but we still haven’t been able to take a family ride to the park. Autumn’s twin brother, who also insisted he was ready to have his training wheels removed, gave up after a few failed attempts. I guess perseverance doesn’t come naturally to him either.  

But Autumn’s example and the things God taught me through her quest have inspired me to move forward in rebuilding my life. And as my children and I grapple with challenges, we’ll strive toward our goals, support one another and celebrate along the way.But Autumn’s example and the things God taught me through her quest have inspired me to move forward in rebuilding my life. And as my children and I grapple with challenges, we’ll strive toward our goals, support one another and celebrate along the way.