Affirming your daughter's gender identity

A mother can affirm the gender of her teenage daughter both by the example she sets and in the relationship she forms with her daughter.

• Example. A mother who is strong yet nurturing, neither overbearing nor overly passive, helps define femininity as a gender worth embracing.
  
  
• Positive feedback. A teen needs approval for who she is as well as what she does. A mother should look for ways to praise rather than focus on areas needing improvement, which teens interpret as criticism. Included in this should be positive feedback about the daughter’s femininity.
  
  
• Just listen. While the mother-daughter bond begins in infancy, one way to build this relationship is for the mother to listen curiously. A mother invites her daughter to open up when she listens with the goal of understanding her daughter’s heart rather than with the intent to correct or teach.
  
  
• Validation of feelings. A mother should try to see things from her daughter’s perspective, empathizing with both her experiences and her emotions.

As a mother sets a desirable example, provides positive feedback and develops a close relationship, she helps to affirm her daughter’s sense of gender identity.