100+ heart-to-heart questions

Asking questions is one way to keep exploring the many dimensions of your multi-faceted spouse and to keep your lines of communication open. Check back regularly to see our new ideas! If you have any suggestions of your own to share, we would love to hear from you! Email your tips to [email protected].

• What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?
• What are some of your best memories of our married life so far?
• What are five things you are thankful for this year?
• With school starting up again, tell your spouse about your favourite class when you were a kid.
• Which of your strengths do you most value?
• What is your favourite summertime memory from your childhood?
• What's your most memorable moment of our wedding day? 
• If you were to open a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
• What can we do to be better stewards of our finances?   
• What’s on your heart today? How are you feeling?
• What was the most useful premarital discussion we had?
• What is your biggest goal for the new year? In what ways can I help you achieve this?
• What are your expectations for this Christmas?
• When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming one day?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• What boundaries can we set with others to protect our marriage?
• What do you most vividly remember about our first date?
• What is the most generous thing anyone has ever done for you?
• Which fictional character, from a movie, book or TV show, is a lot like you?
• What is your favourite Easter memory from childhood?
  
• What area of our marriage are we neglecting?
• What was the highlight of your year?
• What can I do to improve our relationship with your family?
• What are you most thankful for about our marriage?
• If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
• What is something you have always wanted to try?
• In what ways can we be more on the same team?
• What moment in history would you like to have been a part of?
• How can we manage our money better as a couple?
• Which friend has most influenced you and how?
• How do you see things differently since becoming married?
• What goals would you like us to achieve before the end of the year?
• What do you admire most about each of your parents?
• When someone says they’re sorry, what is the most important part of the apology?
• How have you changed through our marriage?
• Whose marriage do you admire, and what can we learn from it?
• What's the silliest fight we've ever had?
• What are some things that we used to do that you would like to do again?
• What is your favourite memory of your grandparents?
• What's the funniest thing you ever did as a kid?
• What’s one thing I did this week that impressed you?
  
• What are some practical ways I can make you feel loved?
• What's one thing that made you laugh today?
• What are the top five things you are most thankful for in your life?
• What is God is teaching you right now?
• What helps you calm down (e.g., going for a walk, having a cup of tea, etc.)?
• What do you like most about our marriage and why?
• How can we parent better as a team?
• What was one expectation you had about our marriage?
• What has been the most positive spiritual experience that we’ve shared as a couple?
• What three things have you done in our marriage that you’re most proud of?
• What can I do to support your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health?
• What can we do to strengthen our spiritual connection as a couple?
• What is something you wish you knew when we first got married?
• When we're in conflict, what do you need me to understand?
• How can we improve our marriage at this stage of life (e.g., parenting, empty nest, etc.)?
• What can we do to invest in our relationship this year?
• What are some unmet expectations you have in our marriage?
• Is there anything I do that really bothers you? That you'd like to see change?
• What do I need to know about how you express different emotions (e.g., sadness, anger)? 
• What do I need to understand about your attachment style? 
• What’s one thing you would include in your dream house?  
• How can I better speak your love language? 
• What makes you feel the most alive? 
• How can I help you when you're feeling overwhelmed? 
• What was your favourite hobby as a child?
• When do you feel closest with God? 
• How can I help you feel more comfortable when we talk? 
• Do you need time alone or time with others to feel energized? 
• In what ways can I better support you in our marriage?
• What boundaries do we need to set with our extended families?
• What can we do to protect our marriage from digital infidelity? 
• What can we do to intentionally seek oneness in our marriage?
• Where can we find romance in our daily lives?
• What are three things I’ve done to make you feel cherished and honoured? 
• What boundaries do we need to set with our parents to put our marriage first?
• How can we strengthen our marriage before crisis hits?
• How can we show more kindness to each other and to those around us?
• How can we help those in our community who are grieving?
• What can we do to serve each other more like Christ?
• What do you appreciate about our marriage?
• What does our marriage look like from the outside in?
• How can we make God the centre of our marriage? 
• What would you like to accomplish as a couple this year? 
• What are some ways my personality can be pushed to an extreme?
• What are some ways our marriage has helped you grow spiritually? 
• What are some ways we can prioritize our marriage?
• What are you grateful for in our marriage? 
• What's a clear answer to prayer you've experienced?
• What is your favourite way of spending time with me?
• What's something you miss about your childhood?
• What is the most valuable thing we own?
• How can I show love/respect to you when we're in public?
• What do you most appreciate about our church?
• What is your favourite way to worship God?
• What has been the most difficult struggle in your life so far?
• What area of our marriage are you most proud of? What’s an area you’d like to see us improve upon?
• What was your favourite chore as a child? What was your least favourite?
• As your spouse, how can I better nurture our relationship?
• What does "quality time" mean to you?
• What are three occupations that you could never do? Why?
• Who was your role model growing up? Why did you look to them as an example?
• How would you like to see us grow in our marriage by the end of the year?
• Are you ever frightened about the future? If so, what frightens you?
• What are you most looking forward to about this year?
• What would you say is your greatest achievement? Why?
• When did you know that I was the one you were meant to marry?
• If you could make a living using a favourite hobby, which hobby would you choose?
• With what celebrity could you see yourself having a lot in common?
• Describe your current relationship with God.
• What’s your most favourite date activity?
• What aspect of our marriage would you like to work on this year?
• What do you like most about fall?
• What is the most embarrassing thing you ever did on your first job?
• What are your retirement dreams?
• What have you been learning about God lately?
• What do you hope for our marriage this year?
• Which holidays of the year are important to you and why?
• What things in life bring you the most joy?
• What hopes do you have for our marriage and family?
• Tell me about the first time you saw God's hand at work in your life.
• What do you think are the strengths/weaknesses of our marriage?
• (Ask each other:) What spiritual gifts do you see in me?
• What kinds of hobbies do you wish we could do together?
• How can I help you accomplish your New Year resolution?
• What is your fondest childhood Christmas memory?
• What was the best Christmas you’ve ever had?